Holiday Custody Schedules in Maryland: How to Plan and Avoid Conflict

The holidays are meant to be a happy time for children, but for separated and divorced parents they can also bring stress. Who has the children on Thanksgiving? How is winter break divided? What happens when plans change at the last minute? A clear holiday schedule answers these questions ahead of time, so your family can focus on the season instead of the calendar.



How Holiday Schedules Fit Into a Maryland Parenting Plan

In Maryland, a parenting plan is a written document that outlines how parents will raise their child. It covers decision-making authority, known as legal custody, and parenting time, known as physical custody. A few points to know:

• Parenting plans are part of every custody case. Maryland courts require parents to work on one whenever they ask the court to establish or modify custody, including in a divorce.
• Parents are encouraged to decide for themselves. The process is designed so that parents, not the court, decide what is best for their family after considering the child's needs.
• If you cannot agree, the court decides. Parents who cannot reach a plan submit a joint statement of their positions, and a judge makes the decision based on the child's best interests.

A holiday schedule is one piece of that plan. In most plans, the holiday schedule takes priority over the regular weekly schedule on the days it covers. Check the wording of your own order to confirm how yours works.

Common Ways to Divide the Holidays

There is no single required schedule in Maryland. Families use different approaches depending on distance, traditions and the children's ages:

• Alternating years: One parent has Thanksgiving in even years and the other in odd years, with the winter holidays alternating the opposite way.
• Splitting the day: The children spend the morning with one parent and the afternoon and evening with the other. This works best when parents live close to each other.
• Dividing winter break: One parent has the first half of the school break and the other has the second half, switching each year.
• Fixed holidays: Each parent keeps the same holidays every year, which can make sense when a holiday matters much more to one side of the family.
• Celebrating twice: Each parent celebrates with the children on a different day, so no one misses out.

What to Include in Your Holiday Schedule

Vague language is the most common cause of holiday conflict. The more specific your plan, the less there is to argue about. Consider spelling out:

• Exact start and end times for each holiday, such as "from 6:00 p.m. the day school lets out until noon on December 26"
• Which holidays and school breaks are covered, including Thanksgiving, winter break, spring break and three-day weekends
• Where exchanges take place and who handles transportation
• Rules for travel, including notice, itineraries and out-of-state or international trips
• How the children will stay in touch with the other parent by phone or video
• How birthdays, Mother's Day and Father's Day are handled
• What happens if a parent is late or cannot use their time

Tips for Avoiding Holiday Conflict

1. Review your order early. Read the holiday section in October or early November, before plans are made and tickets are bought.
2. Confirm details in writing. A short text or email confirming dates, times and locations prevents misunderstandings.
3. Keep the children out of the middle. Do not ask them to carry messages or choose between parents.
4. Be flexible when you can. Trading a few hours for a family event builds goodwill that often comes back to you.
5. Put changes in writing. If you both agree to a one-time change, confirm it by message so there is a record.
6. Focus on the children's experience. Children remember how the holidays felt far more than how the hours were divided.

What If You Cannot Agree?

If you and your co-parent are stuck, you have options short of a courtroom fight:

• Mediation. A neutral mediator can help you work out a holiday schedule that both of you can accept. Learn more about our mediation services.
• Negotiation through attorneys. Sometimes a clear proposal from counsel is enough to reach an agreement.
• Court. If the other parent refuses to follow the order, or your order has no holiday terms at all, you can ask the court to enforce or modify it.

Act early. Courts are busy before the holidays, and waiting until December leaves little time to resolve a dispute.

Frequently Asked Questions

Our custody order does not mention holidays. What happens?
Without holiday terms, the regular schedule usually applies, which means a holiday falls to whichever parent has that day. If that is not working, you can agree on a holiday schedule in writing or ask the court to add one.

Can we change the holiday schedule ourselves?
Parents can agree to one-time changes, and it is wise to confirm them in writing. For a permanent change, it is best to have the agreement approved by the court so that it can be enforced.

What can I do if the other parent does not follow the schedule?
Keep a record of what happened and speak with an attorney. Depending on the situation, you may be able to ask the court to enforce the order.

Talk to a Rockville Child Custody Attorney

Kristin Gooray Hagood has more than 17 years of family law experience and is a certified mediator. At The Law Office of Kristin Gooray Hagood LLC, you work directly with your attorney and receive consistent communication at every step. Flat fee pricing is available.

For more background, read how child custody is determined in Maryland. To learn about our child custody and visitation services or to discuss your holiday schedule, contact us today at 301-205-5541.

This article is for general information only and is not legal advice. Reading it does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please speak with an attorney about your specific situation.